Thursday, September 6, 2012

My Little Monster by Lady Mama

So 'M' had Preschool Orientation today, and he woke up saying, "I don't want to learn my letters."

Hmmm. His words did not bode well for the day.

Then, he turned into a monster.

When we arrived to the noon orientation w/ my 1year-old girl in tow, 'M' began growling and saying "I'm a monster!"

Way to make friends, 'M!'

Ok, it was a little cute but also a little scary. I could tell some of the other moms were like what's up with that kid.

Well, I don't really know, he's just into this monster thing lately.

It all started with Cookie Monster.

Then, he became the Pretzel Monster.

And a HotDog Monster.

We sing the Cookie Monster song in the car, but we switch it up with different foods to teach him letters.

I ask him what kind of monster he is, and he says, cookie, pretzel, soda, strawberry etc.


C is for Cookie
It's good enough for me.

Becomes
P is for Pretzel
It's good enough for me

& at the end I ask him
Are you a Cookie Monster?
Are you a Pretzel Monster?
Are you a Strawberry Monster?

& He Says

"ARRGGHHH I'm a PREETTTZZZEL MONSTER! ARGGHHH!"

But now he has pronounced himself King of All Wild Things, and I'm ready to send him on a one-man trip on a boat around the world till he calms down a bit. PHEW!

Some of the other precious things said at orientation today.

His teacher said to him, "We have tomatoes at my house. What do you have at your house?"

"We have flies. My dad Kills them. Wham. Wham . Wham." & 'M' Slams his hand down in the air a multiple number of times.

I'm not making this up.

When an Aide asked him how he was today...

"Crashing Cars on TV! ARRGGHHH" 

I said we don't really have TV at my house but didn't sound too convincing.

& Later.

"I like Scary Bears! They go Boom. Boom. Boom." Again, w/ the mock hand hitting something or someone in the air.

Every other child, except for the one crying child, seems to be playing calmly.

WTF?

Here, I brushed his hair and made sure there was no ketchup on his shirt, and my son is coming across as someone with a severe emotional disorder. Could he have one? Who knows! He does like to act like a monster, but he does swing back to kissing everyone with a booboo & offering them bandaids, so there's hope, right?


Afterwards, we had a disastrous time in the office when he ran away down a hall & then pulled papers out of my hand as I was handing them a secretary. I have been able to trust him to behave fairly well lately, but today he roared out of control.

When we drove away, he fell asleep in 30 seconds.

That made me less angry.

The orientation was smack in the middle of the day when he starts to rub his eyes for a nap...but that does seem like a lame excuse, doesn't it?

He told me afterwards that he wanted to scare people away.

I'm getting my husband, the psychologist, to counsel him more about this. Hubby says he had a reaction to going to school again and probably didn't want to be there.

Hubby says it's just an experiment. A Scary Experiment!

Well, I feel good knowing that at least there is some support for little monsters w/ Lady Gaga & her friends out there.

Goodnight. I love you 'M' & 'R.' Big Kiss.

- Lady Mama

Saturday, September 1, 2012

'R' Turns One

'R' turned one today.

I can't believe a year has gone by.

She spent most of the day with her dad and brother while I frantically cleaned the house, but at the end of the day we all went for a swim, and she ate a good amount of sand with a garlic knot on the beach. She aso ate some happy birthday black and white cookie after our swim back at the house. I asked my hubby to buy a cake or a cupcake, but he went for the 1.69 deli cookie, what can i say? It was so crumbly I left it in the wrapper and stuck the candle in it. Nobody seemed to mind, in fact, it was sort of cute.

Back to 'R'. 'R' continues to have a good disposition although she is starting to poke her brother in the eye whenever possible. He doesn't like this. She also likes to bite me everyonce in  while. She laughs gleefully as everyone says no no. I'll update you more on this later.

Anyway I don't know if I have any real insight after this year except that I'm sad.

My baby is no longer a baby. She is a toddler.

I spent part of my day taking her infant clothing out of her dresser and replacing it with year two garments. They grow so fast the first year, you are always reorganizing their clothing, but now the growing rate is going to slow down. I don't have to do this for another 6 months - Waaahh!

Seriously, I set aside some tiny feet booties, caps, burp rags as mementos. We are not planning on having any other children, and I can't believe I won't ever need these for anyone any more again.

Well, that's what grandbabies are for   - I guess!

'M' & 'R' the pressure's on!

'M' actually was pretty sweet to his baby sister today. He wanted to giver her a doll & even handed it to her without saying "it's my present, it's mine, mine!"

He & I spent some extra time together talking before he went to sleep. He said, "I like spending time with you." I must have said that to him at some point, but it was sweet. 

R & M are fast asleep - sorting out their subconscious w/ their ID w/ their kid right now.

I'm going to bed too.

Good night. I love you 'M' & 'R'. Big Kiss.

Happy Birthday 'R'. You are the best girl in my life. Thanks for a wonderful year.